In everyday life we are advised to tell the truth. We have been told by good leaders, teachers, elders as well as clergy that the truth sets free and without it you will be in bondage.
This sounds nice, very nice until the truth is dirty, murky and painful. Not until you discover the harm in that truth of yours do you have to evaluate the effect of that truth. Am i saying in turn that the truth is bad, Nay, I only wish to set some records straight, sometimes the whole truth is a heavy weight and can be hurtful and maybe potentially harmful.
Relationship experts and counsellors always face this challenge everyday, they are asked by clients especially intending couples of how much information they should let go. This question does not have a one off answer and will never have a perfect answer. The answer to this question is tailor made, yes i mean tailor made.
The truth should be told,it saves lives, it prevents trouble and discoveries that can lead to shame at a later date however the truth should be told at the right time, to the right person in the right place. Let us assume that you are privy to some affair between your boss and some other member of staff and his wife calls you to ask, Is my husband cheating on me? What should you say or how should you answer? I am afraid these are the times to be wise with the truth. Opening your mouth to speak just because you are the frankest and most truthful of living beings is not always the answer, how wise are you with information available to you. If you discover one of your parents is having an affair, what should you do, walk up to the other parent and just open your mouth? Maybe Not, This is where the truth must be told but wisely and sometimes in bits and pieces.
You must always ask yourself, Why am i actually going to say this truth? For my sake or for the sake of others. It is important that our truth does not do more harm than good. An unevaluated expression under the guise of saying the truth may not bring the desired result, be truthful in love.
If the truth relates to another person, many are very careless. But what if this truth is about you? When should you tell your partner you had a love child? When should you tell him you were once a victim of rape? Should you ever tell him. What information should you keep from him and how much of it should she know? When many are asked simple questions like how many relationships have you been in, a lot of us just pick a random number and select a few of the notable ones so that conversation is done and dusted but is that the truth or the wise truth. I will not advise or suggest lying to anyone but i will suggest counselling in complex cases. In some circumstances, healthcare practitioners have battled between confidentiality and public safety in revealing some medical information of individuals to their families or partners. In conditions like HIV and AIDS and other similar challenges, protecting the infected is a duty by the health practitioner, however he should not only protect the infected but the affected. A medical law expert can advise on procedures for such.
If the information is about you or another and it is the truth, it is always best to reveal it to those who will be affected the most or closest to you, however it is most advisable to contact a professional ( preferably a trained counsellor) to advise on when and where to tell this truth. A split second can change the way we recieve information and its impact. Also the chances that we will accept in good faith an information that is not so pleasurable when we are more prepared are higher than if we were unprepared. THE TRUTH SETS FREE, THE TRUTH SAVES YOU, BUT LEARN TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP WHEN THAT TRUTH CAN CAUSE HARM OR DAMAGE. YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN, HOW AND WHERE TO SAY A BAD TRUTH.
Ife Bamidele
This sounds nice, very nice until the truth is dirty, murky and painful. Not until you discover the harm in that truth of yours do you have to evaluate the effect of that truth. Am i saying in turn that the truth is bad, Nay, I only wish to set some records straight, sometimes the whole truth is a heavy weight and can be hurtful and maybe potentially harmful.
Relationship experts and counsellors always face this challenge everyday, they are asked by clients especially intending couples of how much information they should let go. This question does not have a one off answer and will never have a perfect answer. The answer to this question is tailor made, yes i mean tailor made.
The truth should be told,it saves lives, it prevents trouble and discoveries that can lead to shame at a later date however the truth should be told at the right time, to the right person in the right place. Let us assume that you are privy to some affair between your boss and some other member of staff and his wife calls you to ask, Is my husband cheating on me? What should you say or how should you answer? I am afraid these are the times to be wise with the truth. Opening your mouth to speak just because you are the frankest and most truthful of living beings is not always the answer, how wise are you with information available to you. If you discover one of your parents is having an affair, what should you do, walk up to the other parent and just open your mouth? Maybe Not, This is where the truth must be told but wisely and sometimes in bits and pieces.
You must always ask yourself, Why am i actually going to say this truth? For my sake or for the sake of others. It is important that our truth does not do more harm than good. An unevaluated expression under the guise of saying the truth may not bring the desired result, be truthful in love.
If the truth relates to another person, many are very careless. But what if this truth is about you? When should you tell your partner you had a love child? When should you tell him you were once a victim of rape? Should you ever tell him. What information should you keep from him and how much of it should she know? When many are asked simple questions like how many relationships have you been in, a lot of us just pick a random number and select a few of the notable ones so that conversation is done and dusted but is that the truth or the wise truth. I will not advise or suggest lying to anyone but i will suggest counselling in complex cases. In some circumstances, healthcare practitioners have battled between confidentiality and public safety in revealing some medical information of individuals to their families or partners. In conditions like HIV and AIDS and other similar challenges, protecting the infected is a duty by the health practitioner, however he should not only protect the infected but the affected. A medical law expert can advise on procedures for such.
If the information is about you or another and it is the truth, it is always best to reveal it to those who will be affected the most or closest to you, however it is most advisable to contact a professional ( preferably a trained counsellor) to advise on when and where to tell this truth. A split second can change the way we recieve information and its impact. Also the chances that we will accept in good faith an information that is not so pleasurable when we are more prepared are higher than if we were unprepared. THE TRUTH SETS FREE, THE TRUTH SAVES YOU, BUT LEARN TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP WHEN THAT TRUTH CAN CAUSE HARM OR DAMAGE. YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN, HOW AND WHERE TO SAY A BAD TRUTH.
Ife Bamidele
2 comments:
Hmmmn. This is a big banana peel - so I'll tread carefully.
I get your point here. You're putting a third dimension to the basic, 2-D version of 'Good or Bad'. You've added the dimension of 'right' i.e that something may not be 'good' by the textbook, yet it may just be right in the circumstance!
Good point. Excellent post!
Thanks Imisi, Is everyday living banana peels upon banana peels. Thanks. you got it right , not just good or bad but good or bad in what context, i.e if your colleague at work has a mouth odour or dresses shabby should just go for it and say why you dressed like a masquerade cause she is or just follow courtesy and say you dont look bad, but seriously she does look bad. Anyways unending dilemas
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