4/08/09
Groundnut University Effurun
“can a government be this sensitive”.
I was reading the Sunday papers and in one of them, a writer made mention in passing this phrase which I title my piece with today.
Firstly, there is no university yet by the name groundnut University, I am sure if there is, and their lecturers dont join ASUU strike, then they should expect many students.
The crux of the matter is this, the petroleum training institute is in Effurun, a town in delta state Nigeria, they have run like a university offering very cool courses, that many universities get to recruit from there, so this does not only mean that they have cool courses it means many of their products earn cool cash.
I do not know who is lying or version to believe, but a group of people cried out about some weeks ago claiming that the petroleum training Institute will soon be taken to Kaduna, and trust Nigerians it fuelled the fire inside of them, ready to hold the irresponsible responsible.
Government has debunked the rumours, but the explanation is not clear, they claim the institute will remain but that another programme by NNPC is being run in Kaduna, this is as against the gist that it was only a course of the PTI, effurum or a satellite campus, but whatever that is God dey.
The whole story is not interesting talk less of impressive but now the writer I read, said, if they are to situate a groundnut University, can they situate it in Effurun? Meaning Groundnut grows in the North and whoever wants to learn about it, should be in the North and vice versa, i.e. whoever wants to be Petroleum Trained should go to the East or wherever the oil is, factors of Demand and supply I guess, closeness to raw material.
I beg to disagree on a note, you do not have to be where it is to learn a thing, I know many men with diverse tongues, did they have to go there, Must I live in England to speak English or France to speak French or even our own nature Yoruba, Hausa or Igbo being taught in universities abroad.
My friends, oil is being transported to Kaduna, there is a semi-refinery or say oil depot there, permit my qualification, but if the time were right or people themselves strive and pure, PTI in Kaduna might not have been a bad idea, but now imagine Groundnut University in Effurun, Trust Dangote, His Lorries would ferry the nuts down.
THE HARAM GROUP
THE HARAM GROUP
I am sure if I sent you an invite on any social networking site and then asked you to join, I am not sure I would get many members.
I am not yusuff and like I said, God forbid that I was one then this article should be on a slate on edged with stones on the bark of a tree.
Boko Haram means No to western Education and I want to borrow the part of this which is widely acceptable among devout Muslims which is HARAM i.e. forbidden, I mean sinful, against the laws or norms.
Now the Haram group states that we should start poverty Haram, No Megawatt haram, ASUU Strike Haram, deregulation Haram, No water Haram and the likes, the Haram group is right, their suggestion is a very welcome one, if you are hearing about the group for the first time not Boko oh, I mean the poverty Haram group, then you better join, rather than waste time fighting education why not poverty, the absence of basic amenities and infrastructure, why not the ASUU strike Haram group that forbids government from reneging on promises made and also forbids ASUU from going on strikes.
If the Haram Group, can start they should please be nice enough to include the Armed Robbery Haram, Group, making it forbidden to rob, the kidnapping haram group which will positively and intelligently attack the ills of the society.
ACCIDENT HARAM GROUP, forbidding accidents on Nigerian roads and making it happen.
LONG LIVE THE HARAM GROUP, NO BE BOKO HARAM
I am sure if I sent you an invite on any social networking site and then asked you to join, I am not sure I would get many members.
I am not yusuff and like I said, God forbid that I was one then this article should be on a slate on edged with stones on the bark of a tree.
Boko Haram means No to western Education and I want to borrow the part of this which is widely acceptable among devout Muslims which is HARAM i.e. forbidden, I mean sinful, against the laws or norms.
Now the Haram group states that we should start poverty Haram, No Megawatt haram, ASUU Strike Haram, deregulation Haram, No water Haram and the likes, the Haram group is right, their suggestion is a very welcome one, if you are hearing about the group for the first time not Boko oh, I mean the poverty Haram group, then you better join, rather than waste time fighting education why not poverty, the absence of basic amenities and infrastructure, why not the ASUU strike Haram group that forbids government from reneging on promises made and also forbids ASUU from going on strikes.
If the Haram Group, can start they should please be nice enough to include the Armed Robbery Haram, Group, making it forbidden to rob, the kidnapping haram group which will positively and intelligently attack the ills of the society.
ACCIDENT HARAM GROUP, forbidding accidents on Nigerian roads and making it happen.
LONG LIVE THE HARAM GROUP, NO BE BOKO HARAM
BOKO HARAM V. MILITANTS
4/08/09
BOKO HARAM V. MILITANTS, OPC, where u dey
I do not intend in anyway to merge or synergize any of these groups, No I will not, I dare not, I sure will not, except I am ready to quit the nation, Africa and may be this world and you know, I am sure not yet ready.
Whilst one is a religious sect, saying no to Western education, the other is saying no to deprivation of the goose that lays the golden egg, the other is saying no to deprivation of the goose that lays the golden egg, the other is saying oil producing states must be treated as such and its people not just suffer while they produce or by nature’s course supply the nations “sole: source of income, the last but not the least, if anything the accepted of the three, the OPC is an ethnic militia in the name Oodua, patron saint of Yoruba’s in the South Western part of Nigeria, they have taken up the job of local policing though their beginnings too were not any fun as many lives were lost as a result especially from factionalisation.
Let me tell you a small story, I was not told, I witnessed this so this is first hand,
“Tolu was born in London and is just seven years old, on his first visit to Nigeria, a Nigerian in the U.K, in describing the three major 3 of the 250) ethnic groups, told Tolu, that the Hausa would do like this, that he used his hand to make a sign or symbol of a knife cutting off the head and then he said the Igbos would do like this, he drew his fist like someone ready for a fight and then he said the Yoruba’s would do like this, he made a symbol with his hand and fourth finger, pointed signaling a warning”.
Tolu was made to believe that if an Hausa was not happy with you and wants to deal with you, he cuts off your head with the sharp knife, the Igbos by Tolu’s deceptive deceiver would fight you with their fists and beat you up unlike the Yoruba’s who just warn you.
If recent news report is anything to go by, then next time tolu is coming home, he must either get a very new instructor or his instructor must have updated his files, in case this has not happened, I offer to help Tolu and co, I mean those of his age, home and abroad.
In the North of Today, beware of Boko Haram, especially if you are a student, at least of any school save an Islamic/Arabic studies institute, also if you have graduated, please keep your certificate somewhere else and maybe not home, maybe a bank with its headquarters in Lagos.
In the South-east, South-South, they are no more fist-fasting or fighting, things have changed, the royal Navy of mend, the kidnapping powers and sons, are the order of the day, I mean everyone, everybody will not mind you kidnapped tolu, U.K. boy, money go show, anyone staying around there is either the Hunter or the hunted, the kidnapper or potential kidnappers versus kidnapped/victim or potential victims. Please also beware of smart practices, the fist are not the weapons anymore ,they have very great weapons, the only place I see such is on TV, Thank God for JTF.
Tolu, you are a Southwesterner, if you come to your part of the country, they not only warn people, especially in your home state, they now kill and rig or kill or rig, Ekiti your state is “Hotter than Fire”, don’t contest yet oh, oh I forgot you are not even 18years yet. Anyway tolu, I just said I should let you know oh, the warning days are over, its WAR! Oyo, Osun, Ondo, Ogun< Ekiti, Lagos, Omo mo easy but e go better, please Boko Haram, pipe low, militants easy oh, OPC become more organized and structured, Nice idea, don’t you think I am biased?
BOKO HARAM V. MILITANTS, OPC, where u dey
I do not intend in anyway to merge or synergize any of these groups, No I will not, I dare not, I sure will not, except I am ready to quit the nation, Africa and may be this world and you know, I am sure not yet ready.
Whilst one is a religious sect, saying no to Western education, the other is saying no to deprivation of the goose that lays the golden egg, the other is saying no to deprivation of the goose that lays the golden egg, the other is saying oil producing states must be treated as such and its people not just suffer while they produce or by nature’s course supply the nations “sole: source of income, the last but not the least, if anything the accepted of the three, the OPC is an ethnic militia in the name Oodua, patron saint of Yoruba’s in the South Western part of Nigeria, they have taken up the job of local policing though their beginnings too were not any fun as many lives were lost as a result especially from factionalisation.
Let me tell you a small story, I was not told, I witnessed this so this is first hand,
“Tolu was born in London and is just seven years old, on his first visit to Nigeria, a Nigerian in the U.K, in describing the three major 3 of the 250) ethnic groups, told Tolu, that the Hausa would do like this, that he used his hand to make a sign or symbol of a knife cutting off the head and then he said the Igbos would do like this, he drew his fist like someone ready for a fight and then he said the Yoruba’s would do like this, he made a symbol with his hand and fourth finger, pointed signaling a warning”.
Tolu was made to believe that if an Hausa was not happy with you and wants to deal with you, he cuts off your head with the sharp knife, the Igbos by Tolu’s deceptive deceiver would fight you with their fists and beat you up unlike the Yoruba’s who just warn you.
If recent news report is anything to go by, then next time tolu is coming home, he must either get a very new instructor or his instructor must have updated his files, in case this has not happened, I offer to help Tolu and co, I mean those of his age, home and abroad.
In the North of Today, beware of Boko Haram, especially if you are a student, at least of any school save an Islamic/Arabic studies institute, also if you have graduated, please keep your certificate somewhere else and maybe not home, maybe a bank with its headquarters in Lagos.
In the South-east, South-South, they are no more fist-fasting or fighting, things have changed, the royal Navy of mend, the kidnapping powers and sons, are the order of the day, I mean everyone, everybody will not mind you kidnapped tolu, U.K. boy, money go show, anyone staying around there is either the Hunter or the hunted, the kidnapper or potential kidnappers versus kidnapped/victim or potential victims. Please also beware of smart practices, the fist are not the weapons anymore ,they have very great weapons, the only place I see such is on TV, Thank God for JTF.
Tolu, you are a Southwesterner, if you come to your part of the country, they not only warn people, especially in your home state, they now kill and rig or kill or rig, Ekiti your state is “Hotter than Fire”, don’t contest yet oh, oh I forgot you are not even 18years yet. Anyway tolu, I just said I should let you know oh, the warning days are over, its WAR! Oyo, Osun, Ondo, Ogun< Ekiti, Lagos, Omo mo easy but e go better, please Boko Haram, pipe low, militants easy oh, OPC become more organized and structured, Nice idea, don’t you think I am biased?
BOKO HARAM! IF A WERE A BOKO HARAMITE
3/8/09
BOKO HARAM! IF A WERE A BOKO HARAMITE
Boko Haram, in simplest terms is to mean NO TO WESTERN EDUCATION, Boko is Western Education, while Haram is a forbidden thing.
Nigeria just witnessed a crises, yes a very big one, loss of lives and thank God it has say ended or almost ended at least the issues are being sorted and the tension is being dowsed.
Yusuff Ahmed, the brain behind this whole idea looks very harmless but for the number of lives that have been lost courtesy of him and his very fundamentalist group.
Now I am not going to say much about the Boko haramite as this piece is supposed to be me as a Boko Haramite or Boko Haramist, the people in the group should please not mind, if I still do not get the things or name tags very well, at least trust me I will be very mad with you, if you called a Nigerian a Nigerite, or Nigerish as in Britain to British.
If I were a member of the sect, we would not go about causing chaos, no we wont be going about causing trouble oh, no killings, no burning of police stations, let me tell you what we will be doing.
The idea is saying No to western Education, so we import lecturers from Arabia and other Islamic developed countries, bring the scholars and then get Arab money, build very lovely colleges , schools, hospitals, reception centres and many many mosques, that way the people need not be told.
Imagine Boko Haram Institute providing classy education for the Almajiri Kids, in their proper school uniforms, probably made of leaves, well equipped and properly Islamized classrooms, lecturers and even writing materials imported strictly from Mecca.
We would even open pilgrimage to the ka’Abba in Mecca as a mid term project every mid term or mid semester or even weekend programmes for special students in any Arabian country.
Imagine a Boko Haram factory, employing thousands of Nigerians or a Boko haram telecommunication company with good money, who says I can’t be a staff, once I can still keep my original certificate and tear the photocopy with ecstasy screaming to the roof! Book haram! I must have a very different view from the Boko Harammites of this present day Nigeria, so sad many lives are lost, I hate if when people die because of the mistakes or misdemeanours of some individuals, anyway if you are opportuned to see a book Haranite or haramist, next time you are on a prison visit, tell them my suggested style, it really works, yes it does and in case your own group is coming forth adopt my style, I pray and hope that the SSS will catch you and deal with you, and God help you, you fall into the hands of the police or Nigerian Army, O Dabo (Goodbye).
But before I say bye, I remember a lecturer of mine, about 5years back, some of my LIT 101 coursemates, will remember this, he says, “If I were you, God FORBID, So, I follow suit, “If I were a Boko Haramite, God Forbid” so I follow suit, “If I were a Boko Haramite……in the word of dapo, yes oyebanjo ok I mean Dbanj, OLDHUNMAJE.
I no be Boko anything oh, I be Boko for Life Western Education for life. All I hope is that those doing Boko Haram can read this, does it also say no western developments like clothes, computer, phones, etc or just the education. Whichever way na dem sabi. Boko, i.e. EDUCATION is my STAND, if that is so foolish join the LATE YUSUFF.
BOKO HARAM! IF A WERE A BOKO HARAMITE
Boko Haram, in simplest terms is to mean NO TO WESTERN EDUCATION, Boko is Western Education, while Haram is a forbidden thing.
Nigeria just witnessed a crises, yes a very big one, loss of lives and thank God it has say ended or almost ended at least the issues are being sorted and the tension is being dowsed.
Yusuff Ahmed, the brain behind this whole idea looks very harmless but for the number of lives that have been lost courtesy of him and his very fundamentalist group.
Now I am not going to say much about the Boko haramite as this piece is supposed to be me as a Boko Haramite or Boko Haramist, the people in the group should please not mind, if I still do not get the things or name tags very well, at least trust me I will be very mad with you, if you called a Nigerian a Nigerite, or Nigerish as in Britain to British.
If I were a member of the sect, we would not go about causing chaos, no we wont be going about causing trouble oh, no killings, no burning of police stations, let me tell you what we will be doing.
The idea is saying No to western Education, so we import lecturers from Arabia and other Islamic developed countries, bring the scholars and then get Arab money, build very lovely colleges , schools, hospitals, reception centres and many many mosques, that way the people need not be told.
Imagine Boko Haram Institute providing classy education for the Almajiri Kids, in their proper school uniforms, probably made of leaves, well equipped and properly Islamized classrooms, lecturers and even writing materials imported strictly from Mecca.
We would even open pilgrimage to the ka’Abba in Mecca as a mid term project every mid term or mid semester or even weekend programmes for special students in any Arabian country.
Imagine a Boko Haram factory, employing thousands of Nigerians or a Boko haram telecommunication company with good money, who says I can’t be a staff, once I can still keep my original certificate and tear the photocopy with ecstasy screaming to the roof! Book haram! I must have a very different view from the Boko Harammites of this present day Nigeria, so sad many lives are lost, I hate if when people die because of the mistakes or misdemeanours of some individuals, anyway if you are opportuned to see a book Haranite or haramist, next time you are on a prison visit, tell them my suggested style, it really works, yes it does and in case your own group is coming forth adopt my style, I pray and hope that the SSS will catch you and deal with you, and God help you, you fall into the hands of the police or Nigerian Army, O Dabo (Goodbye).
But before I say bye, I remember a lecturer of mine, about 5years back, some of my LIT 101 coursemates, will remember this, he says, “If I were you, God FORBID, So, I follow suit, “If I were a Boko Haramite, God Forbid” so I follow suit, “If I were a Boko Haramite……in the word of dapo, yes oyebanjo ok I mean Dbanj, OLDHUNMAJE.
I no be Boko anything oh, I be Boko for Life Western Education for life. All I hope is that those doing Boko Haram can read this, does it also say no western developments like clothes, computer, phones, etc or just the education. Whichever way na dem sabi. Boko, i.e. EDUCATION is my STAND, if that is so foolish join the LATE YUSUFF.
YAR’ADUA’S CAMPAIGN AFTER ELECTIONS
2/08/09
YAR’ADUA’S CAMPAIGN AFTER ELECTIONS
This sounds like a very popular term I mean campaign after elections “but growing up I felt this was a mere exaggeration and that this was only meant to address the tongue in cheek fellows who have failed at every promise possible, but I am a sincere Nigerian, it is happening here and now.
The seven point Agenda
Somebody said seven is just too much, why not one or two or say three and we will be alright. Don’t be deceived, I am not saying seven is not a perfect number it’s the spiritual number for perfection and three is not a bad idea, it may stand for the trinity and one is the best of ideas at least if that one is power, many of our prayer points can be re-aligned.
I cant remember the seven exactly but any fool knows what any third world does not have, power (electricity) security, education, infrastructure, respect for the rule of law and the likes.
Before 2007 during campaigns. President Musa Yar’ Adua sorry add the sheu on my behalf, was not any of those the former president Mr. Obasanjo referred to as power hungry and power thirsty who would end up as power drunk. This meant that while his counterfeits, he had made near or similar feats, he had not left the Katsina state he was destined to govern.
Like the Biblical David, he was called from the backyard to become the choice one, and the prophet Obasanjo (Samuel) did not anoint the Atiku’s, Odilis, Duke’s, Okorocha’s Baba Gana’s, Jerry Ghana’s etc but he choose his anointed.
Resultant Effect
This selecction process where all contestants but few were threatened to step down and stand down meant that the man who has eventually emerged did not have ample time to convince us about his candidacy, this was very obvious as his health was also another hindrance to the short time the Prophet Obasanjo’s and Kingmakers gave to the people, or Have you forgotten the famous phone call, Hello; Umoru; They say you are Dead?
Answer them, Are you Dead?
To God be the Glory! That usually comes before or after obituaries often but Umoru was and is still alive. Umoru was not dead, is not dead but the campaign was not sufficient.
If you ever get to watch the Network News then this is no news.
The Campaign ”I want to thank Mr. President for allowing the rule of law….. these were words of labour party aspirant and governor of Ondo State’s Olusegun Mimiko speech that was converted into a campaign material for Yar’Adua, on the television for so long we have heard a cardinal point. Rule of law.
Then comes security, the security adverts sounds more stupid, and awkward, the more we are being promised we will be safe the more the truth is being told, Now look at this Scenario, The president just promises security and the next item on the news is the lives of scores and hundreds wasted in armed robbery attacks
Anyway on each of the seven points, Yar’Adua comes up with a campaign, is this so we can vote for him in 2011 or for the 2007-2011 that’s already two years and more. Now imagine Yar’Adua’s advert on education when ASUU is on strike, that must sound like a comedian! Ali Baba! Not long, I watched the minister of works saying no other government has awarded 16 roads for 116billion Naira, No other government, No other Indeed!
If anyone is not yet clear about what campaign after elections mean, watch NTA when you have time, I’m sure it will bore you but before you find courage you’ll see reason with me.
If anyone sees yar’Adua or any of his allies tell them no need to tell us, let them just do something, I mean, if they have to do roads, don’t announce decades before. Imagine GSM being advertised in 1999, how stupid would it have looked or Muritala Muhammed Airport terminal 2 if they held told us centuries before that one day Babalakin’s Bi-Courtney would do it.
Please leaders, I almost said, preferably government officials, repair Lagos-Ibadan Roads, benin-Ore and co without telling us before hand maybe you think we wont really be cool with it, on behalf of Nigerians, I am saying do not bother to tell us the number of megawatts we need just let me see light, I mean after 3days of uninterrupted power supply I then can start calculating the trillion megawatts already given.
If you are a Nigerian politician, well, please map out a plan before your election, tell us what you want to do so we can hold you to something, if you continue with campaign after elections “one day monkey go go market e no go return oh”.
And if you want to continue like the foolish, just come home rig all riggables, get to office without no action plan, start campaign and planning committees instead of implementation. As for me I want leaders who have a plan oh!
Epilogue
Minutes after I had written this the governor of Akwa Ibom, Godswill Akpabio started reading out the Akwa Ibom of his dream, stale gist. I guess! Anyway it’s a story for another article, I’ll sure do justice to it. Plan! Plan! Before you get into office, if you ever get there, as for me, I don dey plan.
YAR’ADUA’S CAMPAIGN AFTER ELECTIONS
This sounds like a very popular term I mean campaign after elections “but growing up I felt this was a mere exaggeration and that this was only meant to address the tongue in cheek fellows who have failed at every promise possible, but I am a sincere Nigerian, it is happening here and now.
The seven point Agenda
Somebody said seven is just too much, why not one or two or say three and we will be alright. Don’t be deceived, I am not saying seven is not a perfect number it’s the spiritual number for perfection and three is not a bad idea, it may stand for the trinity and one is the best of ideas at least if that one is power, many of our prayer points can be re-aligned.
I cant remember the seven exactly but any fool knows what any third world does not have, power (electricity) security, education, infrastructure, respect for the rule of law and the likes.
Before 2007 during campaigns. President Musa Yar’ Adua sorry add the sheu on my behalf, was not any of those the former president Mr. Obasanjo referred to as power hungry and power thirsty who would end up as power drunk. This meant that while his counterfeits, he had made near or similar feats, he had not left the Katsina state he was destined to govern.
Like the Biblical David, he was called from the backyard to become the choice one, and the prophet Obasanjo (Samuel) did not anoint the Atiku’s, Odilis, Duke’s, Okorocha’s Baba Gana’s, Jerry Ghana’s etc but he choose his anointed.
Resultant Effect
This selecction process where all contestants but few were threatened to step down and stand down meant that the man who has eventually emerged did not have ample time to convince us about his candidacy, this was very obvious as his health was also another hindrance to the short time the Prophet Obasanjo’s and Kingmakers gave to the people, or Have you forgotten the famous phone call, Hello; Umoru; They say you are Dead?
Answer them, Are you Dead?
To God be the Glory! That usually comes before or after obituaries often but Umoru was and is still alive. Umoru was not dead, is not dead but the campaign was not sufficient.
If you ever get to watch the Network News then this is no news.
The Campaign ”I want to thank Mr. President for allowing the rule of law….. these were words of labour party aspirant and governor of Ondo State’s Olusegun Mimiko speech that was converted into a campaign material for Yar’Adua, on the television for so long we have heard a cardinal point. Rule of law.
Then comes security, the security adverts sounds more stupid, and awkward, the more we are being promised we will be safe the more the truth is being told, Now look at this Scenario, The president just promises security and the next item on the news is the lives of scores and hundreds wasted in armed robbery attacks
Anyway on each of the seven points, Yar’Adua comes up with a campaign, is this so we can vote for him in 2011 or for the 2007-2011 that’s already two years and more. Now imagine Yar’Adua’s advert on education when ASUU is on strike, that must sound like a comedian! Ali Baba! Not long, I watched the minister of works saying no other government has awarded 16 roads for 116billion Naira, No other government, No other Indeed!
If anyone is not yet clear about what campaign after elections mean, watch NTA when you have time, I’m sure it will bore you but before you find courage you’ll see reason with me.
If anyone sees yar’Adua or any of his allies tell them no need to tell us, let them just do something, I mean, if they have to do roads, don’t announce decades before. Imagine GSM being advertised in 1999, how stupid would it have looked or Muritala Muhammed Airport terminal 2 if they held told us centuries before that one day Babalakin’s Bi-Courtney would do it.
Please leaders, I almost said, preferably government officials, repair Lagos-Ibadan Roads, benin-Ore and co without telling us before hand maybe you think we wont really be cool with it, on behalf of Nigerians, I am saying do not bother to tell us the number of megawatts we need just let me see light, I mean after 3days of uninterrupted power supply I then can start calculating the trillion megawatts already given.
If you are a Nigerian politician, well, please map out a plan before your election, tell us what you want to do so we can hold you to something, if you continue with campaign after elections “one day monkey go go market e no go return oh”.
And if you want to continue like the foolish, just come home rig all riggables, get to office without no action plan, start campaign and planning committees instead of implementation. As for me I want leaders who have a plan oh!
Epilogue
Minutes after I had written this the governor of Akwa Ibom, Godswill Akpabio started reading out the Akwa Ibom of his dream, stale gist. I guess! Anyway it’s a story for another article, I’ll sure do justice to it. Plan! Plan! Before you get into office, if you ever get there, as for me, I don dey plan.
WHAT IS “E” ABOUT THE NEW PASSPORT
30/7/09
WHAT IS “E” ABOUT THE NEW PASSPORT
The fact that I am a young Nigerian can make people think I am not so grateful but I must say I am at least for the fact that the back cover of the passport, the first one I got years back was much higher than the one I saw with a grandfather or great grandfather some days back, it was hard paper back and must have been from the 60’s.
I have no big issue with Baba’s passport who knows it might have been of better quality and maybe much more dignifying in those times, at least to remember now a line in Wande’s song “You go travel to London and you no need visa, once upon a time. Don’t mind bembe Aladisa, “Eyin Oyinbo, e wa fun mi ni visa, I heard the guy is no more singing anywhere near here or there as he has been given the visa he so screamed, shouted and sang for.
Now, when many mention the E-passport, they often talk about it as if it is Electronic for E but I know it is not, Haba, it must be E for ECOWAS, I do not intend to change the Montessori method oh! It is still A for Apple B for Bus, C for Cat, D for Dog, E for Egg and not E for ECOWAS but what I am trying to say is this, the E must indeed be ECOWAS because on the outside of the passport you are more of an ECOWAS citizen than a Nigerian, not a totally bad idea, but what’s the electronic side.
You take a digital capture! That’s been the ideal all these years, your thumbprint, that’s seemingly new and the fourth finger print but if researchers are right, sooner than later thumb prints would be same or similar as DNA’s now clash.
I also learnt as for the “E” passport, “E” to mean whatever you like many other who have tried to ruin my country by having a basket of passports can no longer have more than one, but na lie, said one very smart officer, I won’t tell you which office he works for.
Whatever it is they thought of before doing this new passport, I hope it does not just pass as one the elements of re-branding abi Imagine the killer drug My PIKIN rebranded and put in a fine new bottle, same content and then if you are not so refined, you label if BOMBOY tooth mixture or say My BABY, or BOY and GIRL or if you are very refined and say “tush” or posh you can name it BECHAM tooting mixture with a picture of David Beckham or MANDELA tooting mixture with a MADIBA Smile, would it change the content. Our leaders “E” or no “E” passport. Make Nigeria better.
WHAT IS “E” ABOUT THE NEW PASSPORT
The fact that I am a young Nigerian can make people think I am not so grateful but I must say I am at least for the fact that the back cover of the passport, the first one I got years back was much higher than the one I saw with a grandfather or great grandfather some days back, it was hard paper back and must have been from the 60’s.
I have no big issue with Baba’s passport who knows it might have been of better quality and maybe much more dignifying in those times, at least to remember now a line in Wande’s song “You go travel to London and you no need visa, once upon a time. Don’t mind bembe Aladisa, “Eyin Oyinbo, e wa fun mi ni visa, I heard the guy is no more singing anywhere near here or there as he has been given the visa he so screamed, shouted and sang for.
Now, when many mention the E-passport, they often talk about it as if it is Electronic for E but I know it is not, Haba, it must be E for ECOWAS, I do not intend to change the Montessori method oh! It is still A for Apple B for Bus, C for Cat, D for Dog, E for Egg and not E for ECOWAS but what I am trying to say is this, the E must indeed be ECOWAS because on the outside of the passport you are more of an ECOWAS citizen than a Nigerian, not a totally bad idea, but what’s the electronic side.
You take a digital capture! That’s been the ideal all these years, your thumbprint, that’s seemingly new and the fourth finger print but if researchers are right, sooner than later thumb prints would be same or similar as DNA’s now clash.
I also learnt as for the “E” passport, “E” to mean whatever you like many other who have tried to ruin my country by having a basket of passports can no longer have more than one, but na lie, said one very smart officer, I won’t tell you which office he works for.
Whatever it is they thought of before doing this new passport, I hope it does not just pass as one the elements of re-branding abi Imagine the killer drug My PIKIN rebranded and put in a fine new bottle, same content and then if you are not so refined, you label if BOMBOY tooth mixture or say My BABY, or BOY and GIRL or if you are very refined and say “tush” or posh you can name it BECHAM tooting mixture with a picture of David Beckham or MANDELA tooting mixture with a MADIBA Smile, would it change the content. Our leaders “E” or no “E” passport. Make Nigeria better.
TELL ARSENE WENGER TO SELL AKALA
TELL ARSENE WENGER TO SELL AKALA
To IICC or shooting stars and let other coaches follow suit.
I am not so much of a fan, I am a technical fan, as a student coach of a soccer team that has tasted victory in what can be termed Obafemi Awolowo University’s Champion’ss League i.e. the super cup, then I must have qualified for the appellation “technical fan”.
I watch Liverpool fc football matches with my heart sensing that they win no matter how terrible they play but all other clubs I watch with my head desiring to learn one thing or the other from their respective coaches.
I have been a coach of a small township club for many years before being privileged to coach my class in the university for intra-faculty competition and then graduating or being promoted to being the faculty coach, I watch coaches in are, I watch them keenly, I want to see what they are doing rightly, and sometimes wrongly.
Coach Arsene wenger is a good coach, and no doubt one of the best that have lived on this particular planet, He has broken records so well with his teams that even when the team are not winning trophies now, you would be unfair to refer to the gunners” as they would prefer to be called as a bad team.
Its transfer market, the season is on a break, pre-season friends and bank breaking, yeah bank breaking C.R’s, KAKA’s, and most concerning sheikh Ibn Mansour’s city have bought Emmanuel Adebayor and Kolo toure, both Africans have moved, ,the former claims he moved for the dream and desire at city while the latter has not yet given any reason.
What then is my business? Why am I concerned? Let me quickly tell you, do you know Governor Adebayo Alao Akala, yes if you know him tell him. I wrote this while sleeping or lets say about waking up, but I want Wenger to sell him to shooting stars or at worst or say for the better crown Fc of Ogbomosho.
Many Nigerian governors are known to be fans of clubs in Europe and especially clubs in England, governor fashola a popular Manchester United fan, though his predecessor is an Arsenal fan, and the Governor bukola Saraki’s and their transferred love for soccer turning to an investment of an academy in Kwara and the invitation of Mourinho, that I applaud, though I still have to say how many world class coaches are we going to produce as a Nation so we can quickly determine for how long we’ll invite foreign coaches for inspiration, No fear Bukola, clubs plenty for Europe and even for the whole world set.
Akala has successfully gained promotion for the Mutiu Adepoju led 3Sc which is an achievement and must therefore change or switch allegiance and must start donning 3Sc jersey as well as we must see those jerseys on the streets of Ibadan and nooks and crannies of the pacesetter state, if we are truly pacesetters, Alao my namesake, lets do this.
Fashola is organizing Lagos Youth cup, because there is no Lagos team in the Nigeria premiership for now, Abeg Fashola, I will tell Fergie to sell you to Stationery stores so you can revive it, we are not interested in seeing ferdinand again, in Lagos, we want our own Ferdinands and dem boku, plenty for Lagos.
My dear Governor Akala, if Wenger can sell you to us, we know you may not be a cheap sell but for whatever amount, we will really love to have you as a IICC or say 3SC fan, they say the IICC days may never return but I think they live, with a big transfer like yours, I am sure we will surely move up the ladder, yours will be more celebrated than that of CRISTIANO Ronaldo, if you are afraid that there may be the creation of Ibadan state, then tell Arapaja your deputy to become a die hard fan like many are of CHELSEA, Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal, tell Arapaja to be a die hard of 3Sc and you become a fan, die hard or live hard or die soft or live hard or die soft or live soft of Crown Fc of Ogbomosho, don’t be afraid that they are not yet in the Nigerian Premier League, their promotion is nigh.
If Arsenal can reason with me or make this request on my behalf that as he sold Adebayo, kolo, and as Blackburn sold Santa Cruz, United sold Tevez and Ronaldo, Glen, please tell coaches in England to sell our governors back to us, please tell them our growing league needs big money spenders like them in the V.I.P Lounge, thank God we don’t even have, but then, we can make it happen, Gov. Orji Uzor Kalu tried as an Enyimba fan, but I have not seen him and Enyimba recently.
Coaches Associations in England, Span, Italy, France, start selling me our governors, and office holders, before transfer season is over.
To IICC or shooting stars and let other coaches follow suit.
I am not so much of a fan, I am a technical fan, as a student coach of a soccer team that has tasted victory in what can be termed Obafemi Awolowo University’s Champion’ss League i.e. the super cup, then I must have qualified for the appellation “technical fan”.
I watch Liverpool fc football matches with my heart sensing that they win no matter how terrible they play but all other clubs I watch with my head desiring to learn one thing or the other from their respective coaches.
I have been a coach of a small township club for many years before being privileged to coach my class in the university for intra-faculty competition and then graduating or being promoted to being the faculty coach, I watch coaches in are, I watch them keenly, I want to see what they are doing rightly, and sometimes wrongly.
Coach Arsene wenger is a good coach, and no doubt one of the best that have lived on this particular planet, He has broken records so well with his teams that even when the team are not winning trophies now, you would be unfair to refer to the gunners” as they would prefer to be called as a bad team.
Its transfer market, the season is on a break, pre-season friends and bank breaking, yeah bank breaking C.R’s, KAKA’s, and most concerning sheikh Ibn Mansour’s city have bought Emmanuel Adebayor and Kolo toure, both Africans have moved, ,the former claims he moved for the dream and desire at city while the latter has not yet given any reason.
What then is my business? Why am I concerned? Let me quickly tell you, do you know Governor Adebayo Alao Akala, yes if you know him tell him. I wrote this while sleeping or lets say about waking up, but I want Wenger to sell him to shooting stars or at worst or say for the better crown Fc of Ogbomosho.
Many Nigerian governors are known to be fans of clubs in Europe and especially clubs in England, governor fashola a popular Manchester United fan, though his predecessor is an Arsenal fan, and the Governor bukola Saraki’s and their transferred love for soccer turning to an investment of an academy in Kwara and the invitation of Mourinho, that I applaud, though I still have to say how many world class coaches are we going to produce as a Nation so we can quickly determine for how long we’ll invite foreign coaches for inspiration, No fear Bukola, clubs plenty for Europe and even for the whole world set.
Akala has successfully gained promotion for the Mutiu Adepoju led 3Sc which is an achievement and must therefore change or switch allegiance and must start donning 3Sc jersey as well as we must see those jerseys on the streets of Ibadan and nooks and crannies of the pacesetter state, if we are truly pacesetters, Alao my namesake, lets do this.
Fashola is organizing Lagos Youth cup, because there is no Lagos team in the Nigeria premiership for now, Abeg Fashola, I will tell Fergie to sell you to Stationery stores so you can revive it, we are not interested in seeing ferdinand again, in Lagos, we want our own Ferdinands and dem boku, plenty for Lagos.
My dear Governor Akala, if Wenger can sell you to us, we know you may not be a cheap sell but for whatever amount, we will really love to have you as a IICC or say 3SC fan, they say the IICC days may never return but I think they live, with a big transfer like yours, I am sure we will surely move up the ladder, yours will be more celebrated than that of CRISTIANO Ronaldo, if you are afraid that there may be the creation of Ibadan state, then tell Arapaja your deputy to become a die hard fan like many are of CHELSEA, Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal, tell Arapaja to be a die hard of 3Sc and you become a fan, die hard or live hard or die soft or live hard or die soft or live soft of Crown Fc of Ogbomosho, don’t be afraid that they are not yet in the Nigerian Premier League, their promotion is nigh.
If Arsenal can reason with me or make this request on my behalf that as he sold Adebayo, kolo, and as Blackburn sold Santa Cruz, United sold Tevez and Ronaldo, Glen, please tell coaches in England to sell our governors back to us, please tell them our growing league needs big money spenders like them in the V.I.P Lounge, thank God we don’t even have, but then, we can make it happen, Gov. Orji Uzor Kalu tried as an Enyimba fan, but I have not seen him and Enyimba recently.
Coaches Associations in England, Span, Italy, France, start selling me our governors, and office holders, before transfer season is over.
I Sabi Write
I Sabi Write, No Right. Abi make I say I Sabi RIGHT, WRITE
MAJOR GEN. FASHOLA OR MILITANT FASHOLA
He is our beloved, he is our one and only, he is Mr. Performer, He is the best governor, he is the hope of yesterday oh sorry, I mean tomorrow, he is not to be compared with any, No be so! That’s who Mr. Fashola is to many, Lagosians and Non-Lagosians alike such that when I was in neighbouring Ghana, please don’t blame me for going to Ghana, at least I went before an Obama, and I am neither an elected officer of Honourable of the House of Representatives yet, I am only ‘Honour’ or Honorable between the two three rooms that are near mine.
Be not scared that I chose to say something Fasholaic or Fasholish today, its only as a result of some of the recent happenings in the country and if freedom of speech is still a fundamental Human Right embedded and enshrined in the Nigerian constitution, then am I not free to write.
Fashola seems to be a good guy, no doubt at least he is loved by many, not forgetting the fact that months before his election many Lagosian where singing “Everybody loves……., Everybody loves , Everybody, Everybody, Everybody loves jimmy Agbaje but suddenly times changed and it must have taken not even DJ Jimmy Jatt or Don Jazzy to change beat but the Okanlawon of Nigeria DJ Asiwaju, who changed the beats and there we were, Eko o ni baje, SAN with a sound mind, If not for yesterday’s dailies and a few other traditional titles here and there I almost forgot the other Pedro’s, Remi Adikwu’s, and what’s the name of that CLO girl,joei odumakin, the one that is from the east, yes she tried oh, she is still doing well in the Human Right talk thing.
Atlas cove Jetty, yes, Atlas cove, that’s exactly why I’m writing Fashola, Fashola! I am a fan of true democracy especially internal democracy which I believe in party primaries and not much of cajoling, threats and impositions but the man is a proverbial white pap from a black pot” the Yoruba’s say Inu Ikoko dudu ni eko funfun ti n jade.
When the Atlas cove brouhaha occurred, the militants were happy to say they have moved up and their threat of grounding Nigeria is about coming to pass, I am not a militant and God forbid that I am a fan, but that Lagos event, sent shivers’ down many spines especially in government circles with all paraphernalia and security report, information and reframe but two versions of Fashola were discovered.
MAJOR GENERAL FASHOLA
Fashola known to be firm, stern, but easy going would have been promoted to the post of a major had he been in the army or would have been zoned to the Directorate of Army Public Relations, he said, “I hope it is a mistake and if it is, let it not repeat itself”.
He promised to deal with any such act terribly promising to quash and squeeze dry every form of militancy in our country oh No His mini-country Fashola had never been that serious expect for bulldozing a few houses, clearing Oshodi & co and the likes, in view of the recent promise of the Chief Security Officer of Lagos State by election, CSO Fashola, I on behalf of many other military lovers confer on you the position of Major General of the Lagos Forces. Eko o ni Baje o.
MILITANT LEADER FASHOLA
Haba! How e for be! The SAN with a sound mind, in a close to army uniform, masked, leaves and co over him, running from creek to creek for fear of JTF or if he were one of the good boys enveloped “by the Federal Government then he would have been handsome, clean shave and thanking Yar’Adua on NTA for the good gesture and maybe used as an advert for the Eight Point Agenda, the eight being Amnesty.
Fashola said “The people and militants are fighting a cause, they fight the cause of a deprived undeveloped society, killing the goose that lays golden egg, yet we are one of them, (LAGOS) we have often times like them been neglected and not in anyway appreciated as the production capital of Nigeria”.
Fashola had the gift of empathy, he had said earlier in his threat he was ready to finish militants and later he says, I and other Lagos commissioners and retinue of Lagosians are “militants” doing it right, militants who are not blowing up but building, Fashola has asked us to add Lagos to the deprived Niger Delta Region, OK oh! Fashola u try! From being JTF to Militant, change of pitch and tone, trying to dowse tension and promise trouble, No wahala.
Abeg, militants no mind am, he is part of you fighting for a deprived state like yours don’t fight a brother, A House divided against itself shall not stand, but if you mess up, I am sure he who cleared Oshodi, God can give him power to clear “Lagos” militants.
Eko o ni baje
Nigeria to ti baje na, ko ni baje tan oh
20/07/09
MAJOR GEN. FASHOLA OR MILITANT FASHOLA
He is our beloved, he is our one and only, he is Mr. Performer, He is the best governor, he is the hope of yesterday oh sorry, I mean tomorrow, he is not to be compared with any, No be so! That’s who Mr. Fashola is to many, Lagosians and Non-Lagosians alike such that when I was in neighbouring Ghana, please don’t blame me for going to Ghana, at least I went before an Obama, and I am neither an elected officer of Honourable of the House of Representatives yet, I am only ‘Honour’ or Honorable between the two three rooms that are near mine.
Be not scared that I chose to say something Fasholaic or Fasholish today, its only as a result of some of the recent happenings in the country and if freedom of speech is still a fundamental Human Right embedded and enshrined in the Nigerian constitution, then am I not free to write.
Fashola seems to be a good guy, no doubt at least he is loved by many, not forgetting the fact that months before his election many Lagosian where singing “Everybody loves……., Everybody loves , Everybody, Everybody, Everybody loves jimmy Agbaje but suddenly times changed and it must have taken not even DJ Jimmy Jatt or Don Jazzy to change beat but the Okanlawon of Nigeria DJ Asiwaju, who changed the beats and there we were, Eko o ni baje, SAN with a sound mind, If not for yesterday’s dailies and a few other traditional titles here and there I almost forgot the other Pedro’s, Remi Adikwu’s, and what’s the name of that CLO girl,joei odumakin, the one that is from the east, yes she tried oh, she is still doing well in the Human Right talk thing.
Atlas cove Jetty, yes, Atlas cove, that’s exactly why I’m writing Fashola, Fashola! I am a fan of true democracy especially internal democracy which I believe in party primaries and not much of cajoling, threats and impositions but the man is a proverbial white pap from a black pot” the Yoruba’s say Inu Ikoko dudu ni eko funfun ti n jade.
When the Atlas cove brouhaha occurred, the militants were happy to say they have moved up and their threat of grounding Nigeria is about coming to pass, I am not a militant and God forbid that I am a fan, but that Lagos event, sent shivers’ down many spines especially in government circles with all paraphernalia and security report, information and reframe but two versions of Fashola were discovered.
MAJOR GENERAL FASHOLA
Fashola known to be firm, stern, but easy going would have been promoted to the post of a major had he been in the army or would have been zoned to the Directorate of Army Public Relations, he said, “I hope it is a mistake and if it is, let it not repeat itself”.
He promised to deal with any such act terribly promising to quash and squeeze dry every form of militancy in our country oh No His mini-country Fashola had never been that serious expect for bulldozing a few houses, clearing Oshodi & co and the likes, in view of the recent promise of the Chief Security Officer of Lagos State by election, CSO Fashola, I on behalf of many other military lovers confer on you the position of Major General of the Lagos Forces. Eko o ni Baje o.
MILITANT LEADER FASHOLA
Haba! How e for be! The SAN with a sound mind, in a close to army uniform, masked, leaves and co over him, running from creek to creek for fear of JTF or if he were one of the good boys enveloped “by the Federal Government then he would have been handsome, clean shave and thanking Yar’Adua on NTA for the good gesture and maybe used as an advert for the Eight Point Agenda, the eight being Amnesty.
Fashola said “The people and militants are fighting a cause, they fight the cause of a deprived undeveloped society, killing the goose that lays golden egg, yet we are one of them, (LAGOS) we have often times like them been neglected and not in anyway appreciated as the production capital of Nigeria”.
Fashola had the gift of empathy, he had said earlier in his threat he was ready to finish militants and later he says, I and other Lagos commissioners and retinue of Lagosians are “militants” doing it right, militants who are not blowing up but building, Fashola has asked us to add Lagos to the deprived Niger Delta Region, OK oh! Fashola u try! From being JTF to Militant, change of pitch and tone, trying to dowse tension and promise trouble, No wahala.
Abeg, militants no mind am, he is part of you fighting for a deprived state like yours don’t fight a brother, A House divided against itself shall not stand, but if you mess up, I am sure he who cleared Oshodi, God can give him power to clear “Lagos” militants.
Eko o ni baje
Nigeria to ti baje na, ko ni baje tan oh
20/07/09
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