“They exchange messages regularly and he still says he
misses her” these words which happen to be from a married woman have kept me
wondering what the right thing is. When a relationship ends does it mean
communication should end or it only has to be limited? Having thought of this for a while I have
decided to weigh the pros and cons of communicating with your ex. Ex as the
word means refer to the past or former be it husband, wife, partner, friend
etc.
If we therefore agree that it refers to the past or former,
what are they doing in our present? Why are we allowing them to impact our
future? Some have claimed that you never know the value of what you have until
you lose it but I will go with the saying that if you never knew the value of
what you had then you are not worthy to have had what you had. It’s just like a
child who is given a diamond ball to hold and the child ends up breaking it,
and probably sees a picture of him holding it when he grows older. He will
definitely appreciate the value of the diamond then but in all sincerity, was
the child worthy to have a diamond ball at that age? No!!!!!!!!!! So why do we
allow some people give us crap by saying people are now appreciating their ex
now that they no longer have them. Please guys we need to grow up. They are
called ex. They have moved on. They are already having a good life without you.
We also need to have a good life without them. Our future is at stake when we
keep making them a factor that affects our future. I will not say do not
communicate with them but I will advise that if your communication with them
will affect your present and future in a negative way which most times it does
then it will be better you do without them.
On a different note, looking at the fact that without communicating with your ex it is very unlikely to get back together with them so does this mean we should communicate with them to increase our chances of getting back together? Well let’s get it straight; having an ex who is still a prospect and having an ex who has moved on are two different things. An ex who is still single and is still contemplating you guys getting back might not be too bad to communicate with though as we know the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know. But the truth is how do you know which ex is still single with the rate at which we have liars all over the community nowadays. Very difficult I must say. On the other hand having an ex who is on the verge of getting married and yet still chatting you up is a no go area cause that I can tell you is time wastage. Sometimes it looks so real that he might be coming back but it’s a mirage. He/she is never coming.
Now the question, are you meant to frown at your partner communicating with their ex? Well I will stand to say you have to do what you have to do to protect what you have. If frowning will keep him/her from the preys then better start frowning and if smiling will do the work then better start doing that but above all let your major aim be the safeguarding of what you have. There are also advantages in communicating with your partners ex as that might give you better chances of keeping your partner but it might be very risky if the ex is not yet settled with someone else. Those are dangerous paths to thread but if you feel you can do it then why not give it a shot you might just be lucky but I will advise you keep off.
Above all be wise when communicating with your ex because the bitterness that lies in them might be the beginning of your downfall. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
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